Dottore, dottore...

A brief side note: This is turning out to be an interesting morning. While I was still in my pajamas, a knock came at my apartment door. I am the only one at home so I had to answer it. It was 2 guys who I think said that they were here to fix something in our kitchen, at least I think that's what they said. Doesn't this sound like a beginning to some scary adventure movie? Taken, anyone? But...I let them in--only because I vaguely remember my roommates mentioning something about something needing to be fixed. And the good news is that it's not a scam, they really are fixing something in the kitchen right now.*deep breath* Why are my roommates not here for the appointment, you ask. I don't know, but I would imagine that repair men in Italy don't even give a large hour time frame when they will be coming. It's more like, ok, we'll come back to finish the job. (Well that's very helpful.) The problem now is that I've had to sign the forms and answer any questions. Language barrier... 

But now for the main slice of Italian culture. The title of this post is the beginning of the song that people sing to the graduate. It translates into something like "You have your doctorate now, but no one cares."(That's the clean translation anyway.) ;)  I have now been to three UNIBO graduations! Why am I going to graduations in November? That's a good question and one that I can't answer in one blog. But long story short, the University system is very different here and people graduate at their own pace and not as a class. And as you can imagine, the graduations here aren't like the graduations in America. It depends on what department you are in, but I will give you a quick sketch of a Literature graduation. 

Almost every month, the lit dept. chooses a day for everyone who wants to graduate in that month, and there are about 10-15 people who sign up for the graduation day.  (This isn't exactly it, but it gives you an idea). 

The terrible part of their graduation is that it's not just a ceremony. They have to defend their thesis at their graduation! (Writing a thesis is mandatory for every student.) Imagine walking into your graduation and instead of seeing blue and yellow balloons everywhere, you see 3 professors, sitting at the head of a table, wearing their robes, waiting to tear your thesis to bits.

 The thesis defense is really only about 10/15 minutes, but can you imagine having to go to your graduation with a huge pit in your stomach? Your friends and family can be there but the room is so small that it's like sardines in a can. After you finish defending, everyone leaves the room for a few minutes while the professors discuss how many points the graduate will receive for his defense (it's out of 3). When there are so many people in such a small room, it can take a while for everyone to get out. A few minutes later, they call you back and everyone tries to cram back into the room. When the graduate comes back in, the professors tell him how many points he got, his final GPA, shakes his hand and says some sort of "congrats grad". And that's it. That's the graduation. It's so short that I have yet to make it back in the room before that part is over. What about the go create world peace speech and give back to your school speech?!

After the graduation, someone puts a laurel wreath on your head with a colored ribbon that is the color for your major (literature is white). Everyone goes outside and takes a TON of pictures. Graduate with just the family, just the friends, just the girls, just the boys, just the roommates, just the people from Sicily, just the blondes, just the left-handed people... 

Then there is a reception afterwards with lots of delicious Italian food! 

There is another aspect to the graduations that I haven't experienced but I have seen other people do. After the graduation, the friends put the graduate in some costume and have them walk around the city while the friends sing the "Dottore" song. So I have seen a girl in flippers and a snorkel mask, a guy in dress, someone else dressed up as a cereal box. It's like Ow-lo-ween everyday around here. ;) It seems a little strange to me, but as it is always accompanied by Champagne, so I can imagine why they think it's so funny. 

Although I prefer a ceremony to a thesis defense for my graduation, I would love to have a laurel wreath when I graduate! I'm trying to convince my roommates to come out for my graduation and bring a laurel wreath with them! 

*Disclaimer: not all the departments defend their thesis at their graduation, but ones that do make for a better story. :)

The bicycles

The bus never ceases to amaze me! It would be a perfect place to perform a study on mankind in the 21st century. But another fascinating means of transportation is the bicycle.

For pedestrians:
If you are walking on one side of the sidewalk and want to go to the other side, you have to look over your shoulder as if you were changing lanes in a car because there might be a bike coming up behind you. I learned this the hard way. :/ However bike/pedestrian collisions are rare because every bike has a bell that the rider will ding to let you know that they are coming up behind you. It reminds me so much of skiing when you are going down the mountain and someone behind you says "On your left/right". I think skiers should all just get bells on their polls. ;)

For the rider:
I have only ridden a bike once here in Bologna. I don't think I will do it again. The problems: 1) the breaks weren't the best 2) I had a 50 pound purse that was just too awkward to put on one side or another or on the handle bars and it would throw off my balance and hit my knees as I peddled 3) It was freezing cold outside so I had my coat and gloves on and felt like the boy in A Christmas story who couldn't put his arms down. With these challenges, I started my journey. The good news is, I made it there and back without killing myself or anyone else, but I did crash into a few inanimate objects. The worst one was when a car pulled into a driveway. I saw it coming in plenty of time, but my breaks didn't adjust soon enough. So I had to decide between riding into the car or riding into the front steps of a building. I chose the latter, which was the right choice, it just had to be in front of several people watching the scene.

For the buyer:
Don't buy a bike you care about because it will probably be stolen within a few months. As you walk down the street, you will hear someone say to you "bici? bici?". If you don't mind having a stolen bike, you go with them to the bike racks and point out which bike you want. The thief will then take out their lock clippers, cut the bike lock, and sell you the bike for €10. And this is normal...

Studying, kind of.

It's a rainy day here in Bologna. I'm sitting in the closest thing they have to an American coffee shop. I can already hear people saying, "What are you doing in an American coffee shop?! You should be immersing yourself in the Italian culture and going to the most Italian coffee shops that you can find." (Or maybe that's just my inner Jiminy Cricket.) Well, you don't sit and study in Italian cafés, and I can't get wifi at the University Library. It's there, I just can't figure it out (and not because I haven't asked). And it's nice to have a little bit of America every once in a while. Sometimes it's almost an overload of America, as I heard Johnny Cash's song 'How high's the water, Mama?". But here I am, trying to start writing an Italian paper that's due tomorrow. Well, kind of trying.

Another one of my favorite places to study is the Italian bookshop. They have tables and chairs and they always have the heater on! During one of my study breaks, I picked up a book called something like "Learn English Fast". I flipped to a random page that had English idioms. There's nothing like seeing your own idiomatic phrases through someone else's lenses. For example, a rough translation, "The Bee's Knees: the best. What does the knees of the bees have to do with being the best? Absolutely nothing!" Well, they have a point.

P as in Pneumonia. For anyone who hasn't seen Brian Regan's skit about this, you need to watch it right now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-s1wYFwdD4 And if you have all day, just watch everything he does. I had a p as in pneumonia experience at the Apple Store. My computer was having difficulties, so I took it to the Apple Store here in Bologna. I speak a little Italian, and I knew some people would be able to speak English. (My Italian is getting better, but I wasn't sure I knew computer terms in Italian--they usually turn out to be the same word as it is in English, just with such a strong Italian accent that you can't understand what they are saying.) So I was talking to them in a kind of English/Italian mix. At one point, they asked for my first and last name. All my life, I have spelled my last name for people by saying B as in boy so that my last name doesn't turn out to be Toles or Doles or Coles. So that's what I said to the Apple man. But then I realized that that was probably incredibly unhelpful to a native Italian speaker, and I should have chosen an Italian word that starts with b. But of course, my mind went totally blank and I couldn't think of a single word in Italian that started with b, not even bambino (funny enough, it means boy).

And that's not the only stupid mistake I've made (imagine that). I checked out the book Jane Eyre from the library and took it home. I opened it up and found that the forward by Virginia Woolf was in Italian. I didn't know she knew Italian! But I don't usually read forwards, and especially not when they are in Italian. So I skipped ahead to the (what I thought was English) story. But wait, the story was in Italian too. What?! Oh yeah, I rented it from an Italian library, of course it's in Italian. I know, I know. In my defense, it was in the Lit section (short for literature) not the Let section (short for Leteratura).

Speaking of translating English works, I saw the Hobbit for the first time… in Italian. I'm sure it's better in English because Dwarves speaking Italian doesn't really work. And translating from Elvish to Italian to English is a little difficult.
OK, I'm really going to study now.